The Orphanages

For my internship, I am required to journal about my experiences. I need to write more than just what I did, but tie in terms and principles I have learned in psychology as well. Here I want to share a little of a couple of my journals that involve a very moving experience for me at a couple of orphanages we visited in San Pedro Sula. I will spare you the psychology stuff and just tell you about my experiences. =)

"Allison took me and one other girl to a special needs orphanage run by nuns in San Pedro Sula. She attempted to prepare me beforehand for what it would be like inside so my imagination was well-informed. We bought cake and ice cream (a very special treat) to give them.  Thankfully, what I imagined was somewhat worse than what we encountered, but that does not make it any less awful. We brought the stuff into the kitchen then we began to hand it out. I was a little nervous at first on just how to do it. I walked into the 1st room in which there were about 12 people. I say people, because it is very hard to tell ages. Some were definitely young kids or adults, but with malnutrition and deformities, it is so very hard to tell. There were 4 girls in one corner who could eat on their own. Though I do not know much about medical things, I think many in the orphanage had cerebral palsy. A few with down's syndrome, and then for whatever reason, others who were physically deformed and may or may not have had mental disabilities. One of the girls, Rayna, could speak with us well and even knew a few words in English. I fed a girl a few bites, but one of the sisters said she did not like ice cream or cake. So I moved on. The 2nd room was full of beds. I did not stop to count but I think there were about 40. There were a few people lying in beds. They do that all day, just staring up at the ceiling. There is not much light, and only fans blow, which freshens the air better, but does not do much for the heat or humidity.  I had to walk through the 2nd room to get to the 3rd room. Here it was much smaller with about 10 big hospital beds, and people, mostly kids, lying on them. The smell was not a dirty smell, but neither was it a "hospital clean" smell either. On a couple of beds there were wet spots, and I wondered if their diapers had been changed yet. There was only one sister there the entire time we were there for all these people. I was directed to a bed with 2 kids on it, their limbs being so short, they could both fit on the same bed. At first, I thought the one I was to feed was a boy, but I was mistaken. They give them short crewcuts in order to for easier maintenance and also probably to keep them cooler. I was not so sure about feeding her while she was lying down, but she handled it fine. She was so happy, and I felt guilty for dreading this at all. Here are all these people who live their almost their entire life here, perhaps even knowing what is going on. Though the conditions are not up to U.S. standards by any means, they are much better than they could get if they lived with their families.The last people we fed and talked to were 2 boys who were 18 and both were in wheelchairs with no ability to move their hands or feet. One of them, Josue, could speak some English and spoke very well. It was hard to imagine that they had been here for so many years in the same place when they could have so many opportunities in the states. It was heartbreaking, realizing they could have so much better care in the states. I realized my own selfishness in not wanting to help. I hope I do not forget the the things I saw ever, and that it makes me more appreciative of those who work with people with special needs and more compassionate for those people with special needs. 

After visiting the special needs orphanage and picking up another volunteer at the airport, we stopped at the public orphanage to give bananas to all the kids. It is not a very special treat in Honduras, but it is fruit so at least it is healthy. This is the orphanage where some of the girls in Allison's care have come from. It is more like foster care as many of the kids are taken from some sort of family situation that is dangerous or very bad for the kids. Allison works with a social worker who helps to find girls who have no chance of returning to their family so they are quite hopeless.  From the public orphanage, the kids may be transferred to other private smaller orphanages or other people like Allison. When we arrived, another team was just leaving after doing a VBS with the kids. We passed out most of the bananas we brought, about 50, then went into the toddler room. Here there were 10 kids, who all looked like boys, but I think a few were girls who had their heads shaved (probably because of lice and easier care). Several were toddlers, but there were a number that were older who had special needs. Two of the boys were 12 and sat in cribs, but did not speak anything understandable. There was one boy with Down's syndrome who the "aunts" or caretakers have not worked with at all so he will bite or hit if you get too close. One of his legs was tied to the crib so he would not get out. It was really quite sad. When we walked in, they were just waking up from their naps. A few were crying so we picked them up and held them. It made them so happy, and then we gave them bananas which was even better. I do not know how old any of the toddlers were as size and age differ so much here. There was only one "aunt" taking care of all of these kids, so that means there is not much holding of anyone. We just sat and held kids for a while. The boy I was holding did not latch on to me really, just seemed content to sit in my arms and eat the banana. When he was done, he was a little unhappy there was not more, like I was only holding him to feed him.Unfortunately, the time came to put the kids back in their cribs. Allison warned us that we need to put them down and run. As soon as I started to let go of my little guy, he latched on to my arms and started crying. Oh, that made it so much harder, prying his hands off of me and leaving him there, crying, knowing that he would not have someone else come hold him to comfort him. "

I do not think that any words I could put down would do justice to these situations. I really do not have words for how I felt. It makes me heartbroken and feel rather helpless. Yet I know God's heart must break too for these children, and I must trust His Word. "He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow..." (Deuteronomy 10:18) I do not think I will ever forget this--I hope I do not--and that it will continue to effect how I think. It is a lot to process and a lot to read. I know there are many kids like this or in worse conditions all over the world. Sometimes when I just feel helpless, I remember to pray for all those kids. But God also wants me to do more. "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." (James 1:27) Yes, I may be here now, "visiting" orphans, but what about when I go back home, to school, what will I do then? How do I share God's love with these kids then? I am still working on answers to those questions. 

Peña Blanca

I realize that my blogposts are about a week behind, but let's just say, I am trying to fit in with the culture here. (That was part of our theme yesterday in Sunday school--being a good missionary.) Carrying on with the delayed posts, last Sunday we went to Peña Blanca for the day. This is where we will be moving on July 23. (For those of you who wish to know where Peña Blanca is in comparison with other towns, I think this is the right Peña Blanca.)

We piled 20 girls into our van for the two hour drive there (we picked up 3 university girls halfway thru the trip). All of us older girls were holding smaller girls for the whole trip.

What greeted us when we piled out of the van at church? Wonderful cool air. It was actually almost a little chilly. Peña Blanca is at a higher elevation, so it is much cooler than where we are now. 

The church was great too. It was bilingual, and they had song books so we could see the words and at least understand a little. It made me realize how strange and hard it is to worship in a different language that you are not completely fluent in. (I think of all my international friends from school...). Though it is difficult, I also think of when we will all worship in heaven together. We will all be able to worship God fully all the time with no hindrances! How awesome to think of brothers and sisters from here and the states and all over the world, from now and many years before, all worshipping our most worthy Lord together! It is exciting to think about!

Anyways, after church, we drove to a water park, and picnicked with some chicken and rice we had packed. After eating, we went swimming, though it was almost too cool. For a Honduran version of a water park, it was nice, though it really was just some little slides and one big one. With all of us older girls, it was easy to keep an eye on the younger girls and still have fun.

When we had dried off, we walked around by the big lake. It was beautiful and, again, so cool and refreshing.

Rickety bridge we crossed

Most of the girls, with a wedding reception taking place in the background

Funny clowns, there for the wedding, that we ran into

While we were swimming and walking around, Allison went to see the house we will be moving into. When she returned, we all piled back into the van for the trip home. Most of the girls slept all the way. It was nice break from routine and I am excited for the cooler weather there! Maybe the day we move, it will be cooler here too. 

Fish Soup

The weekends tend to be more laid back here, and usually at least one of the university girls comes home. Last weekend, a couple of them made fish soup for lunch on Saturday. Surprisingly, we do not eat much fish though we are so close to the ocean and I imagine that it would be cheap. If we do eat meat (usually our protein is beans), we eat chicken or hot dogs. 

The fish soup took several hours to simmer and made the whole house smell good. I think I want to attempt it when I get home, though I am not sure about all the ingredients. There were many vegetables including corn still on the cob, fish, shrimp, crab, and even plantains! The coconut milk made it really good. The girls tried to show me how to eat the crab, but I do not think his death was worth the meat I got out of him. Poor little guy.

This is from the fish that was cooked in the soup with everything else. A couple of the girls found the teeth in their bowls of soup. It was a special treat and nice break from the usual food (though that is good too).

Climbing Stairs

I keep saying that I am learning so much but I have not shared anything yet. One thing that has become very real to me is how God totally prepares us for our next steps. I have known this is true for a long time, but sometimes God can just make it so obvious and real as if I am learning it for the first time. He is such an awesome, big, sovereign Provider and Sustainer. Not that He makes everything easy for us to do, but I see it like we are climbing stairs. He prepares us to climb the next step, and though it is higher and harder, He uses and builds on what He has already brought us through. 


Being here at EFP, I have been able to have a little glimpse at how God has been equipping me for this. Taking from Deuteronomy 31:8 and one of Amy Carmichael's sayings, He goes before. He has gone before, preparing the way and preparing me to walk this path. 


Preparations: 


Though I had never been to EFP, I had been to Honduras before so knew what to expect in some aspects. Safety precautions, weather and bugs, clothing considerations, the Spanish language. 


Another way in which I was prepared that makes me smile is the countless times I have driven truck on the farm, and how comfortable I have become with driving "stick shift." (Dad, did you ever think I would move on from the little blue Fords?) Now I have driven a diesel busito(van) all over Puerto Cortes, and it has only died on me once (I accidentally put it in 5th instead of 1st after a speed bump! Oops!). To say you have driven in a third world country where a horn is used in place of blinkers, brakes, exchange of greetings, and venting of feelings is quite a feat.


The thing that is glaring at me, dripping with irony, is the fact that we will be moving to another house in the span of the 2 1/2 weeks that I am still here. Moving! I moved out of an apartment to a house in Emporia in May, and declared if I never moved again it would be too soon because of everything involved. Here I am, two months later, considering moving 15 girls to another house that is two hours away. (Doh, you want to come help keep me sane again?) I struggled with a bad attitude during moving in May, and I remember thinking that I needed to work on my attitude so that the next time, it would be better. Now, I have a chance to be stretched and grow again. I am really praying for strength, extra patience, and a cheerful, willing attitude. I really cannot do anything without God, but through Him, I can do all things. He has equipped me for this next step.


Also, this makes me realize that, if you are reading this, God has used you in some way to help prepare me for this too and for what is ahead. Isn't our heavenly Father so big and great to have orchestrated everything in each of our lives??? Wow, it is totally unfathomable!


Anyways, that is a little of what I have been learning and thinking about if you care to know. It lacks much eloquence and sounds better in my head, but thanks for reading!

Daily Occurrences

Especially during my first week here, there were a number of things that we did almost every day. Because the girls' schedule is so tight during the school year, summer is very relaxed without many plans. 

We try to do an hour or so of school work everyday to review what they have learned in school. It can be challenging when almost everyone is on a different level.

Picking cuertes (spelling?): they are the seed pods of some plant that pop like popcorn when you put them in water. Quite exciting! It is so cool to see so many different plants that God made! There is another plant that closes up as soon as you touch it. I am not sure if it is something like the Venus fly trap, but it is fun to go around touching them and watching them all close up!

Ballet, exercises, and gymnastics: the girls all love to do them and WOW! are they flexible. I'm trying to do the splits a little more each day so when I get back, maybe I can. ;) Haha.

Ouch!

Brushing hair every night and braiding it or putting it up somehow. All the girls have beautiful hair. Sarahi french-braided all the girls' hair one night, so the next night before showers, they all took it down for a picture.

Coloring: one of the girls' favorite things to do is color or do art. They can spend hours doing it.

"Picking" mangos: it involves hitting them multiple times with a long PVC stick. They get them when they are green, cut them up, and put salt and pimiento on as a salad. They also like them when they are orange. We have a lime, a guava, coconut, mini-apple-looking fruit, and 3 mango trees in the yard.
See the forest of grass there? We have yet to mow that with the push mower!

Brushing and doing MY hair. They can get very creative with their hairdos. So thankful for a haircut, no lice (at least not yet and hopefully not at all!), and a hard head. :)

Playing outside
Also, rain. It rains quite a bit here, often right after we put laundry on the line to dry.

It seems we do keep quite busy during the days doing all sorts of things. I really enjoy playing with them, teaching them, watching them, learning from them. 

The Girls

I am almost halfway done with my time here with only 2 blogposts and no pictures of the girls to show for it! This last week seems to have been busier than the first week. Two other volunteers have come, one leaving today already, and the other will leave in 2 weeks. This week we have been planning "camp" for the girls here at the house. Katie, the other volunteer, is a middle school math teacher so she and I have been attempting to plan activities for the girls, tying in Bible stories, math and reading, active things, and always a lot of art and coloring. It has been quite challenging, exhausting, and fun. I really love the girls and pray for more love for them.
(I'm sorry most of the pictures are blurry; I think I uploaded them the wrong way. I guess I will just have to put up more!)

Wild, fun Asli (4)

Giggly, teasing Jenci (5)

Hair stylist Michelle (7)

Creative, crazy Aracely (7)

Flexible, happy Yolani (9)

Quiet, artsy Sarai (8)

"Little mother" Denia (10)

Helpful, funny Paola (10)

Picture-loving Addy (almost 2) 

Teasing Belkis (17) and quiet Mariela (16)

I do not have a picture of Gaby (13), but these are the girls that I live with! More is written about each one at the EFP website along with better pictures. Soon I hope to post some pictures about "camp," some other experiences, and what is in store in the 3 weeks I have left here!

One week down!

Well, I made it! One week ago, I was trying to sleep before heading to the airport at 3:30 a.m. and now I have somehow survived to write another post. I don't plan on counting down the weeks that I am here, yet this week has been nothing like I expected!

I literally met Allison in the airport, then we drove for an hour out to the house that is the Eternal Family Project. It actually is just a large house and a large yard. They are renting this right now, looking for another place. 

The front of the house The front gate

As my sister Jenny put it in one of her sweet cards (I open one each week), the other times I have been in Honduras have always been a sprint, and now this is more like a 1/2 marathon (or something--I have yet to run one of those!). This week has been a bit faster paced than I anticipated. Allison, the mother of the girls here (for it is much more like a family than an orphanage or institution), left last Wednesday to go to the states for one week with one of the girls, Ruby, who needs to get fitted for a prosthetic leg. There is a foundation in Houston that pays for the doctors and the leg itself. 

So, less than 36 hours after arriving, I was left on my own. Thankfully, not completely. There is a woman who comes 8-5 Monday through Friday to cook and clean, and one of the older girls had vacation from school last week so she was around. Another girl, Sarahi, is studying at a university in San Pedro Sula, an hour away, but rides the bus after class almost everyday to come help out. She is the real person in charge. When she gets here, all the girls straighten up and even the littlest obeys very well. The girls behave fairly well, and know for the most part, what they should and should not do. I only wish I could speak better Spanish so I could know what to say when there is a problem. Perhaps by the end of my time here.

There are 8 girls that I am babysitting, for lack of a better term. Denia and Paola are 10, Yolani (Jo-lan-ee) is 9, Sarai (Sa-ra-ee) is 8, Aracely and Michelle are 7, Jenci (Jen-see) is 5, and Asly is 4. All but Asly, the youngest, are in bilingual school so they can understand and speak English to some extent and that is also the reason why they have vacation now, the same as schools in the states. Also in the house are Gaby, 13, who is a paraplegic, Mariela, 16, and Belquiz (Bel-keys) 17. Gaby and Mariela have summer camp during the day so they are not around until the middle of the afternoon. Belquiz is in a different school so her schedule is different. She has a daughter, Addyson, who is 16 months, who stays at the house while her mom goes to school. It has been an interesting week getting to know everything and everyone, more of which I will explain when I can think clearer. For now, I am thinking of things that I am very thankful for:

• Air-conditioning at night--I know it is about 10 degrees cooler here than in Kansas, but the humidity is incredible. I can sweat sitting still in about 1 minute. We are literally 3 blocks from the ocean, though we cannot see it. To go along with the AC,
• Bug spray--the mosquitos are terrible and seemingly very attracted to sweating gringas (white Americans)
• The upbringing I have had, though I wonder why I was so blessed
• The Spanish that I did know before coming, and how quickly I am learning more
• Knowing how to "drive stick" as I am the only who can drive to ballet lessons, the grocery store, and church (the diesel van in the picture is my sweet ride)
• Variety of food--We have some form of beans almost every meal, and often rice, but we have also had spaghetti, grilled cheese sandwiches, homemade donuts and, for those of you who know what baleadas are, I have had them for 5 meals! Que suerte! (I have not had any pop or pinguinos yet, but that is probably better for me anyway.)
• Access to internet
• God's peace and protection--I have not worried about my safety much at all, mostly due to God's peace and having other things to think about. For the most part, we are inside the gate unless we drive somewhere, and Puerto Cortes is much smaller and different than Tegucigalpa. Though the watchdog (he can be vicious if he does not know you), the locks, the gate, the razor wire are all there for safety and precaution, it is God who protects (perhaps through these things). It has been during this time on my own that I have realized I can really trust no other but God to protect me, yet who better to trust?

In the words of David, "For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,  for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory;  my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him;  God is a refuge for us. " Psalm 62:5-8

Hopefully after Wednesday, I can post much more and a lot of pictures too with more consistency! Also, I want to share some of the stories of the girls and things I will write about for my school journal project.